


Destory && Rebuild

by angelicghoul



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Childhood Trauma, Coma, Drama, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hospitals, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Romance, Serious Injuries, Trauma, leg trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-03-02 13:15:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13318905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelicghoul/pseuds/angelicghoul
Summary: Living a life of happiness is what Ryuji had always wanted. Living together was the start of that, before everything took a different turn. Nothing ever came easy, yet that didn't matter. As long as they had each other, they would be okay.post canon. set six years after the game.





	1. Settling

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is sort of a sequel to my previous one shot, the last to know. Hope you guys enjoy this chaptered fic. This chapter is pretty short but they will get long as this is just setting the scene. There is a lot of angst and drama to come, you have been warned.

The last box fell onto the couch, as did the blond with it.

"I don't get why we couldn't have just stayed at your place." Ryuji half whined, wiping the sweat off his brow.

"It's not big enough. Besides, what if we decided to have a family some day? We needed a bigger place." Akira nodded.

Ryuji couldn't tell if his boyfriend was joking or not, judging by his usual calm demeanour. He went with joking.

"We don't need a baby, we already have one." He teased as he grabbed Morgana off from the floor.

"Hey put me down!" The cat yelped as he laughed.

"Cats don't count as children, unless you want more?" Akira raised his brow while his boyfriend shook his head.

"Oh god no."

"Did you just call me a child?" The damn cat final caught on and he couldn't help but chuckle. it was fun to wind him up, especially when he deserved it. The little shit.

"Not a child, a baby. Because you act like one most of the time."

"I do not! You're so stupid." Morgana jumped up onto the couch, taunting him.

"Don't call me stupid! Akira, your cat called me dumb."

"Not dumb, stupid."

"Same difference!" He could hear Akira audibly groan as he leaned against the wall.

"You two have to learn how to get on with each other if this is going to work.” He sighed, and he heard it. that didn’t mean that the cat would comply.

“I mean I can try but he keeps pissing me off!” Ryuji frowned as he started to unpack the last of Akira’s things, mostly leaving them on the couch for him to move later.

“And I can’t help the fact that he’s stupid.” Morgana shook his head as Ryuji suck out his tongue.

He sighed again.

“Okay whatever, but I need to finish packing so…”

The cat looked up and nodded. “I’ll get out of your way, for a few hours.”

“Thank God for that.”

“Ryuji..”

“I mean, thank you.” He corrected himself as the cat jumped onto the windowsill and out of the apartment.

Peace, at long last.

Yet, Ryuji could tell that he wasn’t impressed.

“You need to be nicer to him…”

“I’m trying, he starts it.” He was aware that he sounded like a child in that instant.

“He doesn’t help I know…I’ll talk to him.” He settled on the couch, as the blond pulled him in closer.

“Mhm, cat aside, looks as though we finally made it. This place is ours.” It didn’t seem that long ago when they first got together. He had to thank Ann for that, without her, Akira would probably still be back in his hometown. Now he was working in Tokyo, and things were better than ever. The apartment that they had rented together was small, but bigger than both of their own put together. Two spacious bedrooms, two bathrooms, a huge kitchen. Humble beginnings but he couldn’t help but feel excitement. This was the first time had lived with anyone since he left home. They had been dating for only a year but he felt it was right. It truly was now or never, he couldn’t lose him again.

 

“I have to move this-“ Akira had a few of the books from the box in his hands. Without hesitation, Ryuji, pushed them aside, his lips pressed to his.

“Later.”

For now, he just wanted to have him.

 

* * *

 

The flash of his phone made him sigh, as he shifted a little on the couch. He didn’t want to move, as he lazily grabbed his phone from floor. Eyes squinted at the screen a little, as he read the message. As predicted, it was nothing too important. As set the phone back down, he saw eyes peer over his shoulder.

“Who was that?” Akira spoke softly, leaning against his chest.

“Mhm, just Yusuke.” He murmured, leaning his head against his boyfriend’s. It was nice to hear from his friends every now and then but not…right now.

Akira chuckled, as he wrapped his arms round the other’s neck. “You’re ignoring him then?” He whispered, lips against his cheek.

Ryuji nodded as his lips found Akira’s. There was so much to do and yet, that was the last thing on his mind. He moved to sit up, their bodies still touching. Hands sitting on his hips, he froze. A flash of black fur went past the window.

“Shit! He’s back.” Ryuji quickly picked up the clothes, handing Akira his shirt. “Why does he have to do this every fucking time?” He grumbled.

“I’ll speak to him.” He watched him scramble to get dressed, as he did the same. As always, at least the cat waited until they were done changing. He had to give him credit for that.

“Sorry, hope I’m not interrupting.” Morgana finally wandered in, finding a spot by the pile of boxes. Ryuji frowned, although Akira smiled and stole a kiss from him before he could yell at the cat.

“Right, okay just ignore me.”

Ryuji smirked, as he so casually flipped him off.

 

* * *

 

Stomach growling, he groaned. “Why couldn’t we just order pizza?”

“Because I wanted to cook for you, besides it’s our first official dinner in this apartment.” Akira could be heard over the boiling pot.

“I know but it takes longer to cook from scratch” He half whined. He had to admit that was typical Akira, as he was certainly the most romantic one. Of course, he tried but he was the type to just be a little blunter about things. As he stood, he started to move more of the boxes to the side.

“Is that your idea of helping?”

Making his way over to the kitchen, he wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Mhm, it counts, right?” He murmured against the other’s cheek.

 

“I guess, thank you.” He stopped stirring for a moment to look at him.

“I love you, you know.” Ryuji grinned, as his hand went through his black hair.

Akira turned around and smiled. “I know, I love you too. Now let me cook before you starve”


	2. Chain Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months have passed and the young couple have settled into a routine. Only for it to be disturbed when Ryuji has a blast from the past. (See end for notes!)

Summer was an interesting time. Short summer days, warm warmth and more people about, it wasn’t always a blessing. However, Ryuji didn’t mind it so much. It was perfect jogging weather. He never strayed too far because of his knee but it was just good to get out. He figured he would go out later, when Akira went to work. Which wasn’t happening right now, as he clung to him, laying in their bed.  

                                                                                                                 

“Don’t you have to leave in an hour?” Ryuji teased his boyfriend, not helping the situation by wrapping his arms round his slender waist.

 

“Mhm exactly, I have one hour.” He turned to face him, pecking his lips. Living together was amazing. Ryuji didn’t know why they hadn’t done it sooner. He was happy, more so than he had been in his life. He had everything, the perfect boyfriend and a nice apartment. There wasn’t much else he needed, to be honest there was _nothing_ else he wanted.

 

“To laze about and do nothing?” Ryuji teased with a snort, nuzzling his head against the other’s bare shoulder. It sounded like a plan, although not a practical one. Being an adult had it downsides, but the benefits outweighed everything. He didn’t want to move himself, he was fairly comfortable holding his boyfriend close.

 

Akira leaned his head back, his own hands tracing the small of Ryuji’s back, his fingers making smooth circles. _Oh._ “Not what I had in mind.” He caught that glint in his eye and that smirk. _Damn_. How could he say no to that?

 

“Again?” He wasn’t complaining. Sure, it was the _second_ time this morning but that wasn’t a bad thing. Not at all. Akira nodded and Ryuji grinned.

 

“Well damn, do I have the best boyfriend in the world or what?” He turned to face him, his lips pressed fast to Akira’s.

 

He was lucky, oh so lucky.

 

It had gone past noon and he hadn’t left the house yet. No classes today or work, he had time to please himself. The apartment was quiet, the cat staying at Sojiro’s for the time being due to _differences_ and while Ryuji liked that, he wasn’t too keen on being on his own. Maybe that was why he went out every time his boyfriend left for work. After a quick shower, he changed, letting out a yawn. Sleep hadn’t come easy to him the past few days, he put that down to restlessness. College classes were tough and then he had his part time job that piled on top of it all. It was...a lot, but he told himself it would be worth it in the end. It had to be.

 

* * *

 

 

He left the apartment with a candy bar, that was his breakfast. He didn’t bother to cook, he only made a mess. Akira didn’t have time to make any because he had to leave in a hurry.  They had lost track of time, but he didn’t seem to care. In fact, it left a smile on his lips as he wandered out onto the street. His destination was always the same and he would walk there, as not to stress out his body any more than it needed. The park wasn’t too far from their block, he could see it in his eyeline. It was a quiet Monday morning, he didn’t except it to be busy. Schools hadn’t broken up for summer yet and of course, people still had to work. It was the best time for some sort of exercise.

 

Upon reaching the gate, he took a chunk out of the wrapped candy, before stuffing it in his pocket. Gulping it down, with a swig of water from his bottle he started to set off. Slow at first, he concentrated on keeping momentum.  He had forgotten his earbuds, as he had just realised but just had to make too. Instead, he focused on keeping up a steady pace as he jogged past the array of wildflowers and plants that he never stopped to take much notice in. As expected, it was almost desolate. Although not quite, there were still families about. And that was fine.

 

He stopped for a moment, taking another sip of water before he continued, this time veering off down a different path. It was more populated than his usual one but not overly crowded. He kept his eyes ahead, only focusing on moving forward. People passed by and he didn’t stop to look. He had no reason to. He drew in a breath as cut past a corner, almost colliding with someone.

 

“Sorry.” Ryuji mumbled as he turned to continue on route. Only, he froze and looked back at the male. Late forties, dark hair and those eyes. _Fuck._

The man glanced at him, but said nothing. He couldn’t move for a moment, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden. He watched that man walk away and all he could do was watch. He felt sick, sick to his stomach. The faint recognition in that man’s eyes said it all, there was doubt.

 

 

The liquor hit the back of his throat like a knife, sharp and bitter. He knocked it back, not showing as much of a glance towards his boyfriend who sat just beside in the booth.

 

“Ryuji?” Akira spoke with a frown, still in his work attire. Ryuji hadn’t given him much of a chance to change, as he had particularly dragged him out to the nearest bar. He had to lie, say it was his treat after a long day of work. He wanted it to work, but he knew that man well, he could read him like a book.

 

“Less talking, more drinking” He plastered on a fake smile, pushing the glass towards Akira. He couldn’t hide anything from him, but at the same time he didn’t want him to worry. After all, he wasn’t didn’t have proof it was _him_. it had been years…

 

“What’s up? Something’s wrong.” Yeah, there was no fooling him. Ryuji shook his head anyway, as if he was able to dismiss his boyfriend’s worries so easily.

 

“Nope. I’m fine.” He grinned, but it hurt. An arm wrapped his shoulder, with lips touching his cheek.

 

“You’re not. Tell me, it doesn’t have to be here we can wait till we get home. Just don’t keep it to yourself okay, I’m worried about you.” The look in his eyes was genuine and Ryuji knew that. He nodded as he got up to leave, holding onto Akira’s hand. The two left in silence, nothing was said until they turned onto their street.

 

“I saw my dad today.” It was a knee jerk reaction. He couldn’t stop the words from falling out his mouth. He had already stopped watch as Akira stared at him with wide eyes.

 

He wanted to keep moving but couldn’t and that was when he felt a pair of arms envelope him. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

 

No , “ Are you sure it’s him”? or “You’re just overreacting”. He seemed to listen. Not that he would expect any less. Ryuji let out a soft whimper that gave him the answer to his question.

 

“Come on, let’s get you inside.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

The rest of night was spent in silence. He curled up on the couch and barely said a word to a probably worried Akira. He wasn’t sure what to think anymore, was his mind just playing tricks?  He didn’t know. Instead of being frustrated, Akira was _supportive_. It wasn’t something Ryuji was used to, then again, it was rare that he went through times like this. He thought his past was gone forever and that he could move forward. Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

 

“You can’t sleep on the couch.” Akira’s words were soft as Ryuji looked up at him with a blank expression. He sighed and followed him to the bedroom. He watched his boyfriend get into bed and he crawled in, hiding under the covers.

 

“Everything’s going to be okay, you know.” Arms cradled his form as he just sank into them.

 

“Yeah…I know. It probably wasn’t him, I was just seeing things.” He tried to rationalise it as that but honestly, he wasn’t so sure.

 

“You’re safe, Ryuji.” His eyes closed as he snuggled up to him, wanting to believe it. 

* * *

 

 

The soft muffled sounds of his snores kept him awake, as Ryuji looked down at a slumbering Akira. He smiled a little, thankful for him. He couldn’t do it alone. But that didn’t stop him from shaking. He climbed carefully out of the bed, not wanting to wake him. He planted a small kiss on his forehead as he trailed off to the kitchen.

 

Finding the bottle of the liquor underneath the sink, he unscrewed the lid and swigged the bottle. As he sat on the stool, Ryuji stared into space.

 

 _"You're safe."_ Those words echoed in his head, but he struggled to believe it. He wanted to, by God he did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I finally updated this. Sorry it took so long, but to make up for it, another chapter will be up shortly! Just a warning, it's about to get intense from here on in, please see tags for potential triggers.


	3. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a chance encounter, Ryuji struggles to cope. It's hard to get through to him, as Akira comes to realise.

His eyes were menacing as he landed a hit on the young child’s jaw. Cursing and yelling ensued as the child cowered underneath the table. He could see his mother crying, laying beaten on the ground. Streaks of crimson ruined the kitchen floor, although they would disappear by morning. His face was in his again, as slurred words rolled form his tongue.

 

“ _You’re a worthless piece of shit like your mother_.”

 

With another punch to the stomach, he woke up gasping. The room came into focus, letting him know that it was just a dream. Another one. Sweat dripped off his forehead, as he sat upright looking into the dark. His heart raced as to willed for it stop, his hands trembling against the sheets. The body beside him stirred, reach for his shirt. Bleary eyes looked up at him as he had to regain composure as quick as he could.

 

“You okay?” Akira’s hoarse voice shook him back to reality as he nodded. Instead of an answer, he kissed his forehead.

 

“Sleep.” He smiled, as he ran his hand through his boyfriend’s thick hair. He waited until he heard the snores before he moved himself off the bed. It was a good thing that he was a heavy sleeper. He still had to be careful, as he tip-toed to the kitchen. He checked the time on his phone. Still early. Grabbing a pair of pants off the couch, he changed into them as well as a clean shirt. He slinked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

The dimly lit bar had become his sanctuary. He drank in the corner, not making eye contact with the bartender or any of the other patrons. He didn’t want to get involved. Ryuji wanted to forget, that was his main priority. He would stay until closing time, when he would stagger onto the streets and try to remember where to go. The bar was not that from the building, which was a blessing. Or rather, a convenient temptation. His clumsily steps drew attention he was sure, but he had always managed to bring himself back.

 

He would stay outside the apartment door, fumbling with the key in the lock and then he would push it open. Only this time, the door swung open before he could get a chance to look for them.   He looked up to be greeted with a familiar face. In his drunken stupor, even he could tell that he was not exactly happy with him.

 

“Hey babe, did I wake up?” He tried to smile. Akira ignored him as he wandered back inside. Ryuji followed him, as he sat down on the couch. “I didn’t mean to…”

 

 

“That’s the third time this week, Ryuji. Did you really think I didn’t notice?” The frustration was high in his voice as he just stood there.

 

“Sorry, I’m just…I couldn’t sleep.” He mumbled, as Akira sighed.

 

“I know, I know but you can’t keep doing this. It’s not healthy.”  

 

“It helps.” Was all that came out from his lips. He knew it was bullshit.

 

Akira rolled his eyes, as he went off to their room. “Hey, you’re not mad at me, right?” Ryuji called out, as he stumbled upward almost knocking a lamp to the ground.

 

Silence.

 

“Akira, I’m sorry.” His lip trembled, just as he reappeared through the doorway.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Here.” A blanket was tossed his way.

 

“I’ve been banished?” Ryuji’s eyes stung, just as arms moved to hold him.  Akira just shook his head, moving him towards the couch. Pulled down, he settled down. He laid beside Ryuji, hugging him tight.

 

“Get some sleep. I love you.” Were the last words he heard before his eyes started to droop.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The sun streamed through the window and he had to blink. A groan and he turned on his side, reaching for familiar arms. He wasn’t there. With more mumbling, Ryuji sat himself up as he looked around the living room. What time was it? He squinted in the sunlight again before he checked his phone.  It was afternoon already.

 

“Akira?” He yawned as he pulled himself up and started to traipse into the kitchen.

 

A figure emerged from the bedroom, fully dressed. “I made you…” He started, as he glared at Ryuji. “No, no way.”

 

A beer bottle was already in the blond’s hands, but he wasn’t having any of it. Akira approached him, trying to snatch it away.

 

“No. More.” His voice was stern as Ryuji let him take it away and empty it down the sink.

 

“It was just one.” He tried to reason, but all he could hear was an annoyed _“Tch”_ in return. He knew had crossed the line, that was obvious. He kept quiet as he rubbed his head. “Man, it hurts.”

 

More silence.

 

The man disappeared again, to get ready he assumed. Without think he was on his knees, looking through the cabinets.

 

“If you’re looking for the whiskey, I threw it out. Along with the rest of the beer.” Without warning, he was appeared through the doorway, staring. Unease swept past him. He stood, facing him.

 

“You had no right.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me Ryuji?”

 

His eyes widened. He tried to think of the last time he swore but was drawing a blank. The look in his eyes wasn’t something he had seen before either. He didn’t like it.

 

“I said I was sorry! I didn’t mean to get drunk this week.” He stood by the countertop, gripping onto the sides.

 

“This _week_?” His tone was seething and hell, he was terrified. “This has been gone on for _weeks_!”

 

Ryuji moved a little, drawing in a breath. “It’s how I cope.”

 

Akira kept his distance, not budging from the sink. It made him like he had repulsed his boyfriend and that made him feel ill. “Yeah well, you’re an idiot. Its not like I haven’t tried to help either so you can’t blame me.”

 

“I’m not. I’m fine, Akira.” That lie, it used to work before.

 

He saw the roll of his eyes as he laughed, in the most horrific way. “You know you’re not. I called your mom and-“

 

“You _what_?”

 

“Yes, I called her, and she agrees that you need to see someone before this gets out of hand.”

 

His stomach groaned, and he couldn’t stop it. “What the hell, man? I don’t need to see anyone.”

 

Another sarcastic scoff. “You do. You won’t talk to me.”

 

Ryuji shook his head as he edged near him. “I do, I do.”

 

“Then talk to me. Let me in, for Godsake Ryuji.” His eyes met his for a moment, almost pleading. Instead, Ryuji bit his lip. His hands shook as he glanced at the man he loved.

 

“I can’t.” The words escaped and he couldn’t change them. it was already done. He moved to kiss him but Akira had already backed away towards the door.

 

It opened and he paused for a moment. “I’m going to be late.”

 

Ryuji felt his legs move on their own, as he ran to the door. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He choked, standing by the door.

 

“I can’t watch you do this to yourself.”

 

And with that, he left.

 

* * *

 

 

The next few hours were a blur. He spent of them on the couch, unable to move. Was this really it, had he gone and _destroyed_ everything? At that point, he was sure he had. It was typical. His father was right after all. Curled into a ball, he didn’t move and ended up sleeping until it was dark.

 

His phone beeped by his side and he saw who it was. He froze as he saw the voicemail pop up. He missed it. Dialling the digits, he listened to the voice that made him feel safe.

 

_“Hey…I wanted to apologise for earlier. I didn’t mean to get angry with you. I’m just really worried about you. I care about you so much, you have no idea and I want you to be okay. We can talk later when I get back form work. I won’t get mad at you, I promise. We’ll work things out. I love you.”_

Ryuji stared at the phone for a moment, looking at the time. he would be here any minute, but that didn’t stop him from calling. Of course, it went straight to voicemail. He was likely driving back.

 

“Akira, shit I’m sorry I missed you, I was sleeping. I’m so sorry too, I am. I’ll make it up to you, no more alcohol, I swear. I love you so much.”

 

His heart lighter as he sank onto the couch. Everything was going to be okay. He picked himself up and headed over to the kitchen. He felt the sudden urge to cook, as he started look for something to make. It might have been just packet ramen, but still it was a start. He went to get changed as let the pot to simmer.

 

A familiar tone rang out through the living room and he raced towards it, checking the pot at the same time. He smiled as he thought he knew who it was, not bothering to look.

 

“Hey, I-“  He started, before he realised that it wasn’t him. A quick glance at the caller ID made sure to that.

 

“Sojiro?” Confused, he turned off the stove.

 

“Ryuji, I’m coming round to pick you up.”

 

“Huh?” He frowned, puzzled as he listened to the background. He heard someone crying in the background. Futaba? “Is everything okay?”

 

“I don’t have time to explain.” His tone sounded urgent and it spooked him. It was then that he felt uneasy, his heart pounding. “It’s Akira.”

 

“Don’t mess with me, what’s going on?”

 

In that instant, his blood ran cold. There was something _wrong_ , he knew it.

 

“There’s been an accident.”

 

His phone fell out of his hands as he sank onto the floor with a thud .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is another chapter. If there is demand, I will try and get out an update every week! Please enjoy <3


	4. Hopeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving at the hospital, Ryuji is left to deal with his emotions as he eagerly awaits the news.

The car was quiet. Futaba had stopped sobbing by now and had leaned on his shoulder. Sojiro drove in silence and Ryuji just stared ahead. His arm was lightly wrapped over the girl’s shoulder, giving her some sort of comfort. there wasn’t much else he could do at that point. He wanted to cry himself but he hadn’t been able to do that in awful long time, not since he was a young child. Instead he sat there empty, his heart pounding.

 

Akira’s parents had already been notified, or so Sojiro had said.  He wasn’t sure if the others knew, he didn’t know how to tell them. His stomach lurched.

 

He wasn’t there for him and it made him feel sick.

 

_I did this._

“Ryuji?” A voice came from the driver’s seat which shook him a little. “I know this is a very difficult time right now but you need to know that it wasn’t your fault. It was an accident, it could happen to anyone.”

 

Except it happened to _him_.

 

It sounded so simple coming from the older man but still, he couldn’t accept it. The guilt ate at him regardless, because he wasn’t there. Heck, maybe it was karma for being such a fool, he wasn’t sure. All he could do was wait. Not much had been said about his condition, no one really knew. The pain of the unknown had his stomach in knots the whole journey. There wasn’t anything he could do at that moment and that was torture. He leaned against the window, blankly staring. Futaba’s soft sniffling kept him from breaking down, he couldn’t do that in front of her. He would likely make her cry again. Agony, that was what it felt like. It seemed to go on forever until the car pulled up towards the hospital. Ryuji got out, Futaba clinging to his arm still. He kept her close, as he watched eyes glance him over.

 

“I’m fine.” His eyes closed as he felt Sojiro judge him, almost. The man said nothing in return as he led them inside.

 

He hadn’t been in a hospital in a long time. He had almost forgotten what it was like. The sterile white walls, the hustle and bustle of nurses and doctors walking around. The waiting area was busy, plenty of people waiting to be seen and it was loud. Yet, it didn’t register. He stood frozen as the two went off to the reception desk. His feet felt rooted to the floor, his hands shaking his sides. He took in a deep breath, not knowing what to expect.

 

Patience was not his forte.

 

They soon returned, and he couldn’t tell by reading their faces what was going on. Still nothing. _Dammit._

 

“His parents should be here soon.”

 

Ryuji looked up in confusion. Was that it?

 

“How he is? Can we see him?” He wrung his hands together, resisting the urge to pace.

 

“He’s in surgery. That’s all I’ve been told for now. We have to wait.” He could sense the frustration in Sojiro’s voice. He wasn’t the only one annoyed, it seemed. The blond stared off into space as hands guided him to a seat. “It’ll be okay, we will know more soon.”

 

This wasn’t something trivial, he could feel it. It was all going to shit right there and then. And all he could do was sit there and pray for a miracle. Not that he was religious.

 

* * *

 

 

He had his head in his hands as the rest of his friends had flitted in. He couldn’t look up, he just felt Ann’s hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey.” Her voice was soft as her arm reached to wrap around him. He wasn’t sure if that was supposed to help or not.

 

“Any news yet?” Another voice rang out, this not Ann’s. Ryuji shook his head at Yusuke, dropping his hands to his knees. He watched them all look lost before sitting down in the cold plastic chairs. Ryuji took Futaba’s hand and a chain followed till they were all linked.

 

The Phantom Thieves may have been a lifetime ago, but Akira was still the lifeblood of their friendship. _He had to be okay._

 

Minutes had turned into hours. None of his friends had left, but he could hear Ann’s soft snoring as she dozed off on his shoulder. He looked up to see where Sojiro had went, noting that he wasn’t there. A soft sigh left his lips as he tapped nervously on the chair’s arm. He had no clue what the time was, he didn’t really care to look. His eyes had turned to gaze at the floor as he heard footsteps coming from the door. It could have been anyone, but Ryuji recognised those faces from an old picture Akira had shown him once.

 

His parents.

 

Ryuji sat up as he watched them approach the desk, along with Sojiro. It wasn’t that long after as if right on cue, a doctor arrived. He watched him take them aside and he couldn’t help but feel _frustrated_. He rose to his feet, Ann stirring and the other’s watching but he didn’t look back.

 

“Hey.” His voice raised, not that he meant to. Sojiro looked at him but said nothing, and instead stood by him. “I wanna know what’s going on. We’ve been waiting for fucking hours.”

 

The doctor turned to him, surprisingly. “Sorry for the wait but the surgery just finished.” It still wasn’t an excuse and he was still pissed. He could feel eyes watch him closely and he honestly could not care less. He had never met his parents, but from what Akira had said they weren’t all that understanding.

 

“And?” His impatience was growing, as was his anxiety. His frustration was stemmed from uncertainty.

 

“It went well. However, I was suggesting to the parents that we talk somewhere more private.”

 

Private?

 

“Can I see him? What’s happening?”

_Just fucking tell me._

“Who are you anyway?” The female gave him a look that reminded him too much of the teachers back at school. The judgemental ‘look at the child of the single parent’ kind of look. Instead of responding, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“This is Ryuji. He is dating your son.” For a moment, it takes Ryuji a moment to register. _Wait. He didn’t even tell them?_

 

“Our son isn’t…” The man spoke and he could see the doctor look away awkwardly. As if anything could get any worse.

 

Ryuji scowled, his hands curled into fists. “Well he is.”

 

Awkward silence ensued as Sojiro cleared his throat. “Doctor?”

 

He nodded, and he felt hands push him forward as they were lead into a room. What the hell was going on? The door closed shut and the air changed.

 

“Your son’s condition is critical but stable. We managed to stop the bleed-“

 

At some point, he must have sat down as he was no longer standing. The words jumbled together to the point where it didn’t make sense. He wasn’t focusing, only picking up on some. Internal bleeding, shattered pelvis, fractures.

 

He didn’t realise he was shaking until hands grabbed his own.

 

“Due to the extent of his injuries, he has been placed into a drug induced coma in order to give his body time to heal.”

 

He caught the last part and fought the urge to run out of the room.

 

“What, what does this mean?” He finally spoke, biting down hard on his lip.

 

Before the doctor could speak again, Sojiro turned to him. “It means that he will be fine. He just needs time. He’ll be okay.” Ryuji looked up at him, wanting to believe it. By God he did.

 

“Where is he?”

 

“I can take you to-“ The doctor started before he was cut off.

 

“No. We don’t want you to see him.”

 

He found himself on his feet again, his eyes red as they stung. “You can’t do that.”

 

“You’re Sakamoto Ryuji, correct?” The mother started. His blood ran cold, it was déjà vu. He knew what was coming, he could sense it. He backed towards the door, opening it. “We don’t want you anywhere near our son. I can smell the alcohol off you.”

 

_You’re just like him. You’re scum._

 

His pace turned into a sprint as he headed back to his friends. Unfortunately, not alone.

 

He stopped to face them. “At least I was there for your son when you weren’t.” A low blow. He knew that.

 

“How _dare_ you!”

 

The other’s stood and Sojiro was the one to stand in front of him. “That’s enough. Not here.”

 

His breathing was uneven as the room started to spin. He couldn’t stay, he couldn’t. He ran out of the building, only getting far as the parking lot before he collapsed to his knees.  He brought them up to his chest as arms hugged him close. Her scent was comforting but it did nothing to stop the sobs.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ann had stayed with him for a while before Sojiro managed to convince him to stand.

 

“You’re staying with us tonight.” His smile is small as Futaba gently took his hand and led him into the passenger seat.

 

“Sojiro, I’m sorry.”

 

“No need to apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong.” The whir of the engine made him jump as he leaned back, rubbing his eyes.

 

“They hate me.” His voice was quiet. “I can’t even see him.”

 

There was silence before he spoke again. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow. I won’t have them speak to you in that way again, you hear me?”

 

Ryuji sighed. Not that it would do any good.

 

“Thanks, for everything.”

 

Sojiro smiled as the car pulled into the driveway. “Come on, let’s get you two inside. You look like you could do with some sleep.”

 

Not that he could.

 

 “I’m worried.” A quiet voice piped up beside him

 

“I know, I am too. But our leader is amazing, and he will be okay.” He managed to force a small smile on his lips as he gave Futaba a quick hug. She was upset, and he hated that. He wanted to fix everything but didn’t know how. His legs felt numb as he stepped out of the car, his hands still shaking.

 

He just wanted this nightmare to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah it's a little later than expected but please enjoy!


	5. Lifeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At that moment, Ryuji struggled to shed his vulnerability, as he felt more like a child than a so called grown up. He had to be strong, but so much had changed. He couldn’t rely on his mother or friends, he had to be the pillar of strength that he was known for. All the while he was terrified.

To be honest, he had only stepped foot in Sojiro’s once before. Back when they were still the thieves, they had the world at their feet. That felt forever ago, they weren’t kids anymore. Responsibility was tough to learn but essential, to pay bills and lead a life like most adults do. At that moment, Ryuji struggled to shed his vulnerability, as he felt more like a child than a so called grown up. He had to be strong, but so much had changed. He couldn’t rely on his mother or friends, he had to be the pillar of strength that he was known for. All the while he was terrified. He didn’t know what was going to happen and that was what scared him the most. He may be an adult, but he was still useless. All he could do was watch, or not even that.

 

The couch was his first point of protocol, as he was given a blanket and pillow. He sat down, his limbs no longer unsteady. His head was in his hands, he didn’t plan on getting any sleep that night. As if right on cue, he heard paws climbing onto the arm rest. He didn’t glance up, he didn’t have to.

 

“Not now, Morgana. I’m not in the mood.”

 

The cat stayed in his spot, tilting his head to the side. “I’m sorry.”

 

Ryuji lifted his head, hands rest on his lap. “Aren’t going to say it’s all my fault?” He sounded defeated. He didn’t put it past him to kick him when he was down.

 

“No, because it wasn’t.” The cat jumped to sit by his knees. “It’s no ones.”

 

He didn’t offer the cat a response, instead, he looked towards the back of the room.

 

“Not everything has a reason. Bad things happen all the time to people who don’t deserve it. You know that.”

 

Ryuji scoffed. “Shut up, you don’t know shit.” It was almost a snarl, but he knew it was all out of frustration and upset. He expected the cat to retort, instead he stayed by his side.

 

“Maybe, maybe.  I know you’re hurting right now, we all are but you can’t sit here and blame yourself all day. It’s not what he would want.”

 

He shook his head. “How do you know that? He could be mad at me. Fuck, he might not wake up Morgana.  He’ll die knowing I’m an asshole.” He didn’t want to break again but he felt his eyes itch. The cat moved, resting a paw on his knee.

 

“Stop. That won’t happen.”

_How do you know that?_

Ryuji stared at him, his eyes watering. How could he believe that? He wouldn’t, because he had caused this. If only he hadn’t started drinking in the first place.

 

“I’ll leave...” Morgana started before Ryuji rested his hand on its head.

 

“Don’t.” His words were choked but he meant it.

 

* * *

 

It was dark when he opened his eyes again. Morgana was curled up beside him and in a bid not to wake him, he didn’t move. He rubbed his eyes, as he tried to think when he had fallen asleep. He couldn’t remember, but it took a while. Exhaustion, that had to be it. He immediately turned his head when he heard footsteps.

 

“Did I wake you?”

 

He shook his head as he carefully shifted himself up.

 

 “Sorry, I was just going to get some coffee.”

 

“It’s fine, seriously. Sojiro?”

 

“Hmm?” The other man paused as he stood in the doorway.

 

“Will he be okay?” He desperately needed to know but, it was anyone’s guess considering.

 

The older man sighed as he took a seat. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything.”

 

He thought as much.

 

“That doesn’t mean he won’t be. I know it’s all uncertain now, but the doctors will do a good job. Try not to think about it.”  If only it were that easy.

 

“It’s hard not to. I started-”

 

He was cut off before he could begin.

 

“Ryuji, I heard what happened between you two.”

 

He froze.

 

“What do you mean?” Panicked, he tried to keep quiet.

 

“I know about the drinking.” Sojiro held the same expression, it was difficult to know what he was thinking.

 

In that instance, he got to his feet. “I can walk home.”

 

The man shook his head, hand reaching out to him. “I’m not here to judge you, don’t worry.”

 

“Did he tell you?” He still stood.

 

“Everything. We all know.”

 

Well, shit.

 

He just stared, unable to move.

 

“And we’re worried about you.” His words were comforting, he knew he wasn’t out to get him. he wasn’t like that. He felt his knees give way as he sat on the floor, he couldn’t hold back the tears this time.

 

“I don’t know what to do.” That was the truth.

 

“Listen.” He felt an arm on his shoulder.  “I’m not here to lecture you, it’s not the time. What I’m trying to say is, don’t let the past get to you. He needs you to be strong, for the both of you.”

 

He sniffed wiping his eyes with the back of sleeve. “I miss him.” his tears didn’t want to stop.

 

Sojiro pulled him into a slight hug and he didn’t pull away. He just fell into it, beaten and worn down.

 

“I do too.”

 

“I need help.” He admitted, amongst the sobs.

 

“I know, I know.” The older man soothed.

 

He desperately needed it.

 

* * *

 

When the light streamed through the curtains, he knew it was morning. His limbs felt heavy as he tried to move off the couch. The cat wasn’t there anymore, and honestly it was the least of his worries. He turned over on the couch, wanting to sleep longer. If that would happen. He was more than exhausted, he could feel it. holding a pillow over his head, he grumbled.

 

In the distance he heard voices.

 

“Futaba don’t wake him.”

 

He sat up slowly as he heard her approach.

 

“I’m not, he’s awake, see!” At least she seemed okay.

 

He heard Sojiro grumble as he walked off. He chuckled as the red head came into view.

 

“Why are not sleeping, aren’t you tired?” Ryuji asked, yawning himself.

 

“Nope can’t sleep. Can you?”

 

He shook his head. “Nah, I can’t get back to sleep.” It would take a while, most likely.

 

A hand grabbed his, as she tried to tug him upward. “I know a solution!” She beamed.

 

“A what?” He looked on, bewildered.

 

“Video games.”

 

Well, he couldn’t argue with that.

 

He followed her to her room. “Alright, you’re on.”

 

“Don’t expect me to go easy on you.” She smiled a little.

 

He never would.

* * *

 

Her coping mechanism worked. At least, it kept him distracted. Besides, it was helping her too. Even if it was just a little bit.

 

“Hey no fair, you cheated!” Futaba pouted, throwing down her controller.

 

“I beat you fair and square, admit it.” He snorted, as he looked towards the door, now ajar. He could sense the disapproval radiating off Sojiro by now.

 

“Hey you two, you have ten minutes to get changed and get in the car.”

 

Futaba stood, eyes wide. “What do you mean?”

 

He had no idea either.

 

“Visitor hours end soon.”

 

The controller felt out of the blond’s hands.

 

“For real?”

 

The man nodded as Ryuji raced out of the door.

 

* * *

 

 

The old man had managed to get through to Akira’s parents and he still couldn’t believe it, not after last night. It was already late, given how long he had slept in for and played for. It must have been hours, not he kept track of time. It all seemed to blur now. The hospital hadn’t changed, it still freaked him out. As much as he didn’t want to be there, he knew he had to.

 

Sojiro broke away to talk to the parents, as they stood outside his room. “You can go in first.” Futaba pushed him towards the door.

 

“We can go in together.” He half smiled.

 

She shook her head, stepping back. “No, you can have your alone time. You need this more than I do.”

 

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. “Thank you.”

 

She soon ran off to her adoptive father, leaving him to stand by the doorway, alone. He took in a deep breath, he couldn’t leave his boyfriend alone. Nothing could have prepared him for it, as he looked down at Akira’s motionless body. The machines bleeped, and they were everywhere. His face was bruised, his body broken. It took him back, but it didn’t stop him from reaching for his hand, holding it gently.

 

“I’m here.”

 

And he wasn’t going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, I can only apologise. The next chapter will be up very soon, so keep an eye out for that!


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